Start of something new

So I have finally started this blog.
My parents told me I was a healthy child until the age of 3. They told me I was hospitalized for a while because of bronchitis that started off by a common flu.
It aggravated my genetic eczema, asthma and allergic rhinitis also as known as hay fever. Since I start remembering things, I was always visiting the children hospital trying to find solutions for those sicknesses.
A lot of people think that eczema is caused by low immunity, but that is not the case.  In fact, eczema patients have very sensitive immunity systems, so that when the tiniest bacteria attack our bodies, it overacts and attacks our skin😂😂.
Hence, it makes it more tough when I have all those three sickness, as a hay fever could aggregates a cold or asthma attack then my eczema starts overact and my eczema flares up. I have had million times which I ended up staying in bed for weeks or months by just a hay fever. Ironic, right😂?
Reading up to here, you might start feeling sorry for me, but it is actually quite common for children in Hong Kong to have all eczema, asthma and allergic rhinitis. I was not special. Well, I guess it is quite common to get sick growing up in a highly polluted environment. It is unavoidable but also unfortunate.

I had a long time hating on my parents before I decided to accept these sicknesses and try to live with it🙈🙈. As both of them doesn’t have asthma, I hated when they told me not to scratch my eczema🙉. I probably screamed and cried at them, hating that they don’t understand how I feel, hating that they keep feeding me weird tasting medicines, hating that they gave me all these sufferings. I remember there was a period of time, they would tie and wrap my hands up , so that I won’t scratch myself in sleep. However, it did not really work because we would find blood stains on the scarfs and it caused a lot of extra trouble when I needed to go to the bathroom at night. I hated it🤦🤦.
Now that I have grown up, I know that they did whatever they could have as parents. They would bathe me carefully with special shower gels, dry my body gently, then put on creams on my wounds🙇🙇. It is not an easy thing to do daily, especially with me that did not cooperate much. I also start feeling sorry for all these extra medical fees. They probably don’t need to pay if I was a healthier daughter. There were at least three times that I called them on phone crying while studying in Australia, and they would buy me a ticket to come home immediately just to let me see my doctor. They might not understand how I feel, but I am grateful to have them as my parents👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍👨‍👧.

Having eczema, acne or any other skin problems makes it hard to gain self-confidenc😖. I have had a very long journey until I could fully accept my body, my scars and my red face. It was especially tough for me when I lived in Hong Kong as people tend to be more appearance aware, and strangers on the street would stare at me🤷. I had problem making friends at school, as they were afraid that I would pass them my eczema. Even my grandpa once told me I had very ugly skin when I visited. It happened approximately ten years ago, but I am still a bit hurt to this day. I feel like I was a “monster” in other people’s eyes. As weird as it sounds, I remembered I would always stare at other children while crossing the street, wishing I could trade for their skin🙈🙈.

They are different types of eczema but the biggest category is probably children eczema and adult eczema. There is a very big chance for children, to get rid of their eczema during puberty because of the change of hormones or stronger antibodies to different substances.
Me too, was one of those lucky ones that got rid children eczema…. at least for a few years. Unfortunately, my eczema had relapsed in my final year due to high stress and expectation to get into a good university. It was really bad, I had eczema spread through my body and wounds at my joints would bleed with the slightest movement😭. It was so bad to a point that it bleeded when I kneed down to get my books from my locker every day.
Eczema tend to grow on the same spots on your body, as that part of skin will always stay weaker once it is weakened. Until university, all my eczema has been well controlled away from my face. When people tries to say nice things, they would always complement my face as I rarely get pimples but they don’t know that is actually because I have extreme dry skin, so I don’t get any oil and moisture on my face😦. Oh well… but I was still proud of it, until the first year of university😒😒. My eczema spread to my face all of the sudden and until this day I am still trying different medicines or remedies to keep it under control. It happened probably due to the excessive crying of a breakup and with the double stress of final exams. It started with swollen and itchy eyes but then it has spread to my whole face now🤕🤕. My face would turn red and sometimes burning when it flares up hence why I started calling myself a tomato😜😜.

Obviously, having eczema on my face is more upsetting then having it on my body. It took me a very long time, to be able to walk out the house with my bright red face. I used to try wearing a mask or hiding it with make up but I stopped once I realized it would do nothing good but only worsen it👀👀. I used to go into work without make up with my red face, and customers would ask if I have a bad sun burnt. I would smile and tell them, “Oh that is just eczema, don’t worry 😀”. It wasn’t easier but I have learnt how not to care.
Still, sometimes it upsets me. As a girl, I would like to look pretty on special occasions, dates, anniversaries, parties or balls. But sometimes it just wouldn’t work.  I have tried putting on makeup once while my eczema was inflamed and it started weeping out of no where during a date. Ahh that was embarrassing😫😭😱 That guy didn’t contact me ever again after that date. Oh well, it was understandable, I guess🤔🤔.

Still, I try not to let eczema affect my life too much. I don’t want to just hide at home and be miserable all day. Sometimes I would go to movies, restaurants and gyms with my red race🤘. However, I had a very hard time with work. In the nature of the hospitality industry, employers tend to favor good looking people and it is considered polite and professional to have minimal make-up on. There are times I put my make up just to go to work or interviews and it would start hurting after a very short period of time. My eczema tend to flares when I get a new job, probably because I tend to get nervous and stress with all the new people and environment😩😩. I once worked at a teppanyaki restaurant in an five star hotel. In the beginning, I didn’t really think that working near the hot cooking plate would trigger my eczema but it did😭. There was this morning when I was still on my three months trial period, my face was burning when I woke up. But because I was on the earliest shift, I decided to still go in for work as it would be hard to find another person to take my shift. As I parked, my eczema started weeping and I had no choice but to call my manager😵. As it was very last minute and I was convinced to work anyway. At the end of my shift, I was lectured by the head chef that I didn’t take good care of my body and has failed team work badly. My manager also told me she might needed to reconsider my employment as my eczema might affect my performance at work. I understood where and why it came from but I was also so upset in the same time. No one gave me any words of encouragement for working in such a bad condition. I cried while I drove home😟😢. I learnt that life is cruel. But it’s okay, I also grew stronger.

There are good days and bad days with my eczema. Sometimes, I would cry and think that it would never heal and that it is the end of the world. However, I try to stay as positive as I can when I realize it would heal faster only if I am relax and happy😳😳✌️✌️. Don’t get me wrong, eczema is such a pain but I am grateful that it is not a disease that would threaten my life.
It is not easy to open up and write something personal publicly. In the past, there was strangers, customers, colleagues that approached me and recommended creams, medicines as they suffer from skin conditions themselves or they know someone dearly that does. It feels better when I know I am not alone. I found mental support from youtubers and bloggers that talks about eczema in public, and this is my biggest motivation to start this blog.

You Are Not Alone 🤗🤗🤗

In this blog, I would be writing about treatment and creams i found useful for eczema, my little episodes or daily struggles and maybe make-up tips on covering it up. I haven’t made up my mind completely yet but please support me 😄😄😄😄😄

To finish this blog, I would like to shout out to all these people that suffer from skin conditions. Don’t give up. If you find the right treatment, it will heal up very soon.
Here is two photos of my skin today with just few hours apart.

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Thank you for reading.

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